You know it’s been awhile since you’ve been out on a date with your husband when you find yourself going to the Mall ON your date so that you can find clothes to wear TO your date. Tonight Zeb and I were going to meet friends for dinner downtown. After my trip to the Strawberry Festival, my pants were no longer suitable for anything other than cutting grass or perhaps a trip to the Flora-Bama.
At the moment I have LITERALLY one pair of pants that fit. (Thanks to what as known as the “in-between-stage” of post-partum weight loss.) I know as women we say all the time, “I don’t have anything to wear,” but seriously people, I had one pair of pants that were totally trashed and my husband wanted me to go out to dinner.
I dug out an old pair of jeans, rubbed some Vaseline on my butt and thighs and pulled them on. (I might be exaggerated a tiny bit. TINY.) I buttoned them, but (lol) breathing was no longer an option. My husband walked through the bathroom as I was sucking it in and zipping them up and said, “Babe, you look cute.” I rolled my eyes. “What?” He asked. “I cannot sit down in these pants…” After explaining and showing my husband that I only had one pair of pants to my name, he called our friends and told them we would be a few minutes late (Sorry Petersons!)
The Best Husband in the EN-TIRE World took Momma to the store to get some new clothes. I won’t say the name of the store but I will say it’s the first time I’ve bought clothes in over a year that didn’t have buggies (carts, to you Northerners!)
I stood in the dressing room in nothing but my SPANX and nursing bra, and waited for Zeb to purchase my date night ensemble. As I waited, I was hopeful that this night would end better than the last date when I paid a babysitter to watch my kids while I contracted food poisoning. Ah, happy endings…new clothes and no vomiting OR diarrhea.