I haven’t blogged in a few days and I wanted to tell you why. I have been flat on my back with a headache and running a fever, I was recovering from my gallbladder surgery just fine, when all of a sudden I’m sick again. And well, I’m sick of being sick. My husband is sick of me being sick.
I’ve been in the bed for about 48 hours straight starting about the time my mother left. Like I said, I had been feeling fine, not 100% but I was gradually getting better. On Friday afternoon, my mother helped me get all the girls down for naps then headed home. God bless her, she’s been here for almost a month taking care of me and my kids.
When she left my house was silent and I ran to get in the bed to catch a nap. I thought we would all sleep until about 4pm and I’d just have to make it an hour until Zeb came home from work. My mothers tail lights had barely faded into the distance when Sadie began screaming for me. I wobbled into her room, to find her diaperless and the foot of her bed soaking wet with urine.
You want to know what I did? I didn’t laugh, slap my knee and say, “Aw shucks! I can’t wait to blog about this!” I cussed then cried like a baby. I called my husband at work. It was lunchtime, so he came home and called a babysitter to watch Sadie while I slept.
WHY am I telling you this? This blog is supposed to be a HAPPY place, no? You are supposed to come here to feel better about yourself and realize you aren’t the worst mother in the world- wait, THAT is exactly why I’m telling you this.
Not for pity, not for “Bless your hearts”, not for pats on the back. Because I want you to know that it’s hard for me too. It’s hard to always find the silver lining. It’s hard to get up everyday and regardless how you feel, to choose to be happy. It’s hard to be a mother. It is rewarding above and beyond anything I’ve experienced in my life- but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.
If all I ever shared with you were the good times, I wouldn’t be a real person. It’s easy to be happy when everything is going well. I want you to know that my life isn’t all popsicles, pool parties and lemonade stands.
As mothers, especially as Christian mothers, we have to focus on the things that bring joy to our families and to others. That is who I want to be in my family, and to you.