We are on vacation. My kids are in overdrive. This afternoon Aubrey and Emma screamed, “STOP LOOKING AT ME!” 467 times. Each. At the grocery store, at the pool, in the car.
Emma even yelled it once in her sleep. She passed out in the car on the way to the store and apparently the burning weight of her sister’s gaze was enough to wake her and she screamed, “STOP LOOKING AT ME AUUUUUBREY!!”
I whittled away at all of their evening plans until all they had left to do was eat dinner and go to bed. No fun after dinner swim. No vacation dessert. Just dinner and sleep. They were so tired they didn’t even care.
Sadie, my two-year-old, on the other hand, was so tired she couldn’t see straight. Sadie potty trained herself about a month ago. I take no credit for this. I would much rather change a dirty diaper than pick that mess up off of the floor or scrub it out of my rugs. But at any rate, she has been in her Big Gull Pants for awhile now. And everyday at nap-time and bedtime, when I go to put her diaper on, she flips the flip out.
“I DON’T WANNA WEAR A DI-PAH!! I’S A BIG GULL MOMMA! I WEARS MY PANTIES!!” She yells.
Tonight was bad. Not only did Sadie not want to wear her diaper but she took it off in the bed, put her pajamas back on, and pooped. Good times.
I cleaned her up and put her back to bed, then she climbed out. I rocked her. I sang to her. I cajoled.
I finally took her out to the balcony overlooking the beach to rock her in a chair. The moon was shining right above our heads and in an attempt to distract her from her wailing, “DON’T PUT ME BACK IN DA BED MOMMA!” I pointed up to the sky and said, “LOOK, Sadie! It’s the moon!”
She stopped crying and lifted her head. “Dat’s da moon wight dere, Momma?”
She howled, “NOOOOOOOO! I NOT WANT DAT MOON TO WOOK AT ME MOMMA!! ‘TOP WOOKIN’ AT ME!”
The nerve of the moon. To hang there in the sky… mocking my child.
Somebody make it stop. The moon or my kid. I’m not picky.
What are your kids screaming at each other this summer?