Today was bad. BAD bad. Not just meh-bad. Like REALLY bad.
We left the house at 9am for the library. At 9:05 I pulled the car into a church parking lot, opened up the back door of my car and got IN my kids’ faces. All three of them at the same time. I’m no amateur.
“IF I HAVE TO PULL THIS CAR OVER AGAIN YOU WILL BE SO SORRY!” Yes. THOSE words. I said them.
My kids have broken every single library rule and we get scolded every single time we go. Usually, I feel it’s unwarranted. Today, I wondered why no one forced me to hand over my library card then yelled, “Get out! AAAAAAAAND STAY OUT!”
Next, swimming lessons. The heat index in Mississippi today was roughly the same as the surface of the friggin’ sun.
I was sweating like A LOT. And also was about 99% sure my left ear was infected and I might have strep throat. Nothing says good times like inner ear pain and 100% humidity.
Luckily for me, and for the safety of my chirren. My mother came to town yesterday to visit. During rest time, she chilled (literally) at the house while I ran errands. In my car. With no AC. I literally rolled my windows down because it was cooler outside.
I went and got amazingly cheap and tacky outfits for Aubrey and I to wear to the best birthday party EVER: 80’s theme, Mother/Daughter, Dance Party, costume contest. AW. Hail. Yes.
Then I went to see one of my favorite CRNPs (What UP Guhl?) and got a shot in each cheek. Ahem.
I got back into the fiery pit of hell that is my car, came home and fed my people. Then I made a plate for my husband who was working late and took it to him at work. THIS is what you do for a man who occasionally mops floors, cooks dinner, irons his own shirts and takes toddlers to the grocery store with him when you need help. ALSO, he looks like THIS. So, there IS that.
At any rate, when I FINALLY got home my mother looked like THIS:
She was DAZED, people. Confused and sporting a Dumb & Dumber hair-do, courtesy of Emma and apparently a surprise handful of conditioner, and wearing my apron like a bib.
What the WHAT?
Aubrey said, “Wow. Shuggie, your hair looks SO much better like that.”
So, uh… how was your day? What greeted you when you came home? CAN YOU EVEN SEE THIS OR DID YOU MELT TODAY? Also, does anyone else smell like a freaking mountain man right now??? Please say yes.