Preschool Prison Tats

I didn’t see this one coming. Clearly. Clearly, I should have. We all know Emma has been an innovator in Sharpie fashion for years and Sadie’s recent flirtation with all things goth should have been a red flag. But yesterday, I got busy making my AWARD WINNING White Chicken Chili, (What’s that?? WHAT award-winning chili?? I’m sorry… did you not hear?? I WON my church’s chili cook-off.) And had I not been obsessing about whether I should sauté my onions in butter or just throw them in to the pot to simmer in chicken broth, I would have realized that Emma was busy giving Sadie prison-style tats with a ballpoint pen.

Upon first glance, I assumed Sadie had scribbled all over herself again. But once I examined her face closely and saw the graceful arch of a butterfly wing above her left eyebrow– I realized Sadie had a little help.

Her colored in zipples are nothing new. It’s a Sharpie swimsuit… Sadie style.

I popped her up on the counter to get a better look and realized her right eyebrow had been penciled in… or rather, INKED in.

Also? Eye shadow. Yay.

Then I saw this beauty and that’s when I knew, without a doubt, that Emma was responsible.

That’s definitely Emma’s handwriting on Sadie’s leg, but it was sort of hard to be mad… that’s pretty amazing penmanship for a 5-year-old.


Emma, with her classic deer in headlights expression stuttered, “Uhhhhh. I just did the “M.”

Me: So you’re telling me that you “just” wrote the ‘M’ and SADIE, your TWO-year-old sister, wrote the ‘Ississippi’? UPSIDE DOWN? Really? That’s your story?

Emma blinked. “Well… okay. It WAS me.”


It wasn’t until several hours later when I was snuggling in my bed with Emma that I realized they had gone all Spring-Break-’97-Or-Bust and got matching tats…

At least it’s not a dolphin… right?


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    • says

      TRU dat. I’m gonna add that to her possible career choices… right up there with cat burglar, CIA assassin or Cirque du Soleil performer. Girlfriend is SNEAKY!

  1. Alexa says

    Hahahahah! You truly have the best kids ever. God just gave Emma special talents.. maybe she’ll be the next Kat Von D. 😉 I just want to play with them all day long and give them super big hugs! So funny!

  2. Rachel says

    Shoot, I’M amazed that a 5 yr old correctly spelled MI-SS-I-SS-I-PP-I. As a previous elementary school teacher…I’m right impressed! Some kids couldn’t correctly spell their own name, let alone Mississippi!!! Good job momma!

  3. Rita says

    Congratulations on winning the chili cook off and having perfectly normal FUN children. Who was it that taught you to cook? LOL

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