Monday Can Suck It

It is Monday. Sit-in -the-pediatrician’s-office-can’t-remember-when-I-washed-my-hair-last-didn’t-get-to-the-grocery-store-so-we-are-going-to-have-breakfast-for-dinner-MONDAY.

Because of the glorious weather we have been having lately, I have moved the girls’ kid sized table and chairs into our carport. They can sit beside their kittens and do homework and I can hear and see them from the kitchen and laundry room while I get dinner ready. (Or play Solitaire on my iPad. Ya know. Whichever. Ahem.)

Anywho, I hate putting up laundry. Actually, I hate putting up anything. Is there any feeling worse than walking into the kitchen to a sink full of dirty dishes, THINKING that you can open your empty dishwasher and throw all that crap in there, thus, giving you for all intents and purposes, a clean-ish kitchen– but instead– you open the dishwasher to find– GASP– Clean Dishes?? No, there is not.

SIGH! UGH. Blerg! (I just said those last two words OUT LOUD. Because, GAWD. It’s just so annoying.) So THEN you have to put up the dishes before you can get all your mess out of the sink. (Am I crazy? I hope I’m not the only one. I hate it so freaking much.)

At any rate, I was feeling That Way about my laundry room this afternoon. Because there is chit everywhere and it needed to be Put Up before I could move on and I was all NOOOOOOOOO!

My kids put up their own laundry. The oldest two do anyway, Sadie is too short to really be of any use as far as the laundry sitch goes and ironically, she is the only one willing to help. (Help– in Sadie Speak= putting panties on her head. So, yeah. Thanks, Boo.)

Emma (5yo) willingly put up her own laundry then I begged her to do Sadie’s.

Me: I’ll pay you. Cash. Please.

Emma: How much?

Me: How much do you want?

(I wish I could arch JUST ONE eyebrow because I would have done it right here.)

Emma: I don’t want to. I don’t think you have that much money anyway.

Me: Wth?

Emma went outside to visit with Aubrey who has been doing her homework for 18 hours. For. The. Love.

Whilst deciding that we would have breakfast for dinner, I overheard the girls outside.

Emma: Pretend I homeschool and I did all your work.

(I snorted.)

Aubrey: I’m the Momma.

Sadie: Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma! Momma!

Aubrey: What?

Sadie: Um… I love you Momma. I’m going to school now

Aubrey: OK.

Emma: Pretend I knew ALL THE ANSWERS to your homework.

Aubrey: Ok.

Sadie: Momma! MOMMA! MOMMA! MOMMA! MOMMA!

Aubrey: WHAT?!

Sadie: Um… I’m back from school.

Aubrey: Fine. Ok honey, put your stuff up.

(I have no idea what Sadie actually did.)

Aubrey: I SAID! PUT YOUR FREAKING STUFF UP!

(Errrr. Sounds familiar.)

Sadie: Momma! MOMMA! MOMMA! MOMMA! MOMMA!~

Aubrey: I don’t want to be the momma anymore.

A-to-the-men Sistah Child.

How’s your Monday? 



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  1. Karen Tondreau says

    LMFBO! My three daughters are all in their 20′s now, but boy, do I remember those days! While I still have the youngest girl at home and my 13 year old son who was the surprise child, this whole entry was like a flash back…..yes things are mostly easier now, but I still hate the clean dishes when I want to put in dirty ones, and I’ll never enjoy any aspect of laundry! Thanks so much for the laugh today!

  2. Angela says

    I’m sorry for both of us, but I’m so glad I’m not the only one whose Monday went like this, including the pediatrician’s office for a well-visit-ears-recheck-except-he’s-already-been-sick-AGAIN-since-that-visit-was-scheduled-making-mommy-and-our-dr.-share-the-same-tired-expression. Still some fluid in his ears, and no way to tell now which bout of illness is responsible. And I think I washed my hair yesterday…I hope. Lol! At least I’ve got leftovers for dinner. But I’m with ya on the putting things away. I positively detest emptying the dishwasher (I honestly don’t know why) and we seem to live out of laundry baskets (clean, ah, mostly!) these days. Ah well. Can I get a pass for being 8 weeks pregnant, all-day-sick and having a 13 month old to chase? Lol! Anyway, as always LOVE your writings! Happy week. It can only get better now that Monday is drawing to a close!
    Angela recently posted..Our Little Guy…

  3. says

    Gotta love Mondays. I know it doesn’t feel possible right about now, but one thing could have been worse.

    When you opened the dishwasher, instead of being full of CLEAN dishes, I thought you were going to say it was full of DIRTY dishes that you forgot to run the night before.

    At least, that’s what usually happens to me. In fact…I’ll be right back, I need to go start the dishwasher…
    Cindy Dwyer recently posted..N is for Nightmares

  4. Rhoni says

    The morning was lovely, Had a friend over and we did Amish friendship bread and chatted. But then the reality of Monday set in!!!
    Kids didn’t want to eat what was served. One (6yo) stood to eat his meal because he couldn’t remember how to sit in a chair. Then the little one (She will be 3 on the 30th) decided to be sympathetic and move her chair too. But of course her eyes are barely over the edge of the table and food ends up on the floor.
    Then hubby calls and says he has to close the store where he works……The problem is he had to open it! So he got a 9am-9:45 shift you know he is salary. Kids are in tub and will be in bed by 7, if only I hadn’t had that last drop of Mommy juice last night!
    I get the whole dishes thing, I am glad I am not the only one!
    Love your posts! Makes me feel normal :)

  5. Mary Alison Qualman says

    Oh that sounds like my monday. I woke up to the sound of my dog heaving on my carpet. Nice. Then my 2 kids I swear conspired to gang up on me yelling, screaming, clawing, hitting, crying….all before 9 am. That was just in time to sit in an overcrowded and running-way-behind pediatrician’s office. I bribed my kids with food just in time for them to smear it on the floor, walls, doctor…..and I then notice the “No Food” sign. My husband is traveling for work so my glass of wine will be full in 5 minutes from now…..

  6. Lissa says

    I guess my Monday sucked the worst…because I am the only woman who doesn’t have a dishwasher!!!! (it is 2012 right?) WTH!! I dream of dishwashers!!!!!!!!!!

  7. says

    Lol! I was just complaining to my husband about putting things up :P I somehow convinced him it was a good chore for him ;) (the down side is that now the dishes don’t end up where they belong and neither does the laundry >.>)

  8. says

    If things didn’t have to be put up (laundry, dishes) my house would be closer to spotless(ish). That is my least favorite part of both chores. We tend to live out of laundry baskets and the dish drainer until I get the motivation to try and put it all where it belongs…and then I usually don’t have enough space to contain it all anyway!
    Lily from It’s a dome life recently posted..Sesame Street Live: Two Thumbs Up

  9. says

    OMG – You are a glimpse into my not so distant future. I have a 3 year old (girl), a 8 month old(girl) and one more girl due this August!!

    On laundry – GIRL, I so understand!

    We have what is not so affectionately known as Mt. Laundreas. This mountain currently resides on the leaning, bumpy, not so comfy chair in the living room that no one will sit on except guests who don’t know any better. Mountain must be scaled everyday in search of that elusive favorite shirt or missing baby sock. This mountain is only conquered, on average, once a month…

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