1. Flashlight that I can never find when the power is out. Which is surprisingly easy to find while I’m cooking dinner and someone is shining it directly into my eyeballs.
2. Obviously that’s a picture of two unicorns dancing on a rainbow. NEXT.
3. Meals this Week. ( AKA meals we ate six months ago because I keep forgetting to menu plan.)
4. Cute birthday party invite for someone we actually know AND like, therefore we will go.
5. Quit your meanness. We all need to be reminded.
6. Invitations to stuff. Importance of remembering to go to said stuff is determined soley by the number of magnets assigned to the invite.
7. Stuff I will forget to mail this week. Also stuff I will forget to take to the bank this week.
8. Artwork my kids dug out of the trash.
ODE TO MY REFRIGERATOR
HAIL YE holder of foods, cold and delicious. Keeper of Diet Cokes and my sanity.
I honor you, oh champion of schedules, artwork my kids keep digging out of the trash, and pictures I am too lazy to frame.
HARK– who goes there? It is thee– Valentine and Halloween candy circa 2009, lurking in the shadows… hiding from my children until I see fit to end your shelf life– or put you in my kids’ Christmas stockings to avoid buying new candy to throw away.
Behold your steadfast presence, your deli meat drawers overflowing with string cheese. Your gogurt runneth over.
Your steadfast presence reassures me as you bravely guard the holy of holy’s– the good chocolate. For showing such bravery thou shalt be revered as a goodly peacemaker among our people until the end of all days.