Today was just one of those days. I knew it was going to be crappy when I woke up. I haven’t been feeling great lately and getting out of the bed is no fun to me EVER but this morning I was just dragging. I grabbed a handheld vacuum on my way out the door to take Sadie to school this morning because I’ve been worrying about a carpool teacher calling DHR over my backseat for a while now. After I dropped Sadie off, I pulled over in the parking lot and started cleaning. I sorted into two grocery bags:
1) Socks, Underwear and Things That Needed to go Back in My House, and
2) Trash & Any Unidentifiable Object. (Petrified chicken nuggets fall under this category.)
Once I worked my way through the FIVE winter coats that were piled into the backseat, two unmatching pairs of shoes and other miscellaneous debris I came to THIS.
I watermarked it so you wouldn’t try to steal it as your computer wallpaper or Christmas card background.
I then made my way to the doctor’s office where I discovered that despite exercising almost every single day since Thanksgiving (even the week of) I have GAINED six pounds. If you say anything about “muscle mass” I will show up on your doorstep and karate chop you between your eyes.
My husband has apparently felt my crazy creeping in recently, came home and took me to lunch. “What’s wrong?” He asked.
I paused for a second before anwering, “Piles of crap. They are everywhere. And it doesn’t matter how much time I spend cleaning up one pile, the others are multiplying while I do it.”
Zeb: What do you mean?
Me: There are boxes of winter clothes that need to be put up but I can’t put them up until I put up the summer clothes. But every time I get the summer clothes put up the temperature goes back to 80 or Sadie finds them and acts like she’s never seen a sundress before and tries on every outfit in the box.
The Piles-O-Crap are everywhere. My email inbox. My office (empty boxes that Christmas decorations were stored in.) My brain– I don’t know how to turn it off. There are piles there, lurking, waiting for me to get started on one project so they can jump up and down and scream, “LOOK AT ME!! DON’T FORGET ABOUT ME!!!” My first instinct is to sleep. My second is to clean my house like Dexter.
I have a huge writing project I’ve been waiting for feedback on and now that I have the feedback I want to pretend it doesn’t exist because then I have to do the work. And it will be hard. So I went with my first instinct– napping.
Have I mentioned that I have a book signing Thursday night and that I have one million things to do to get ready for that?? I realize these are “First World Problems” but at the moment they are mine. I want to learn how to not worry about stupid stuff like this, how to be all easy-breezy and laid back about life in general but it’s just not in me to chill. The Zoloft Revolution helped (Sweet Baby Jesus was it bad before the Zoloft Revolution!) but it’s still a struggle for me. All I know to do is share my crazy, tackle one Pile-O-Crap at a time and remember what’s important:
1. My husband is a morning person. He makes breakfast for my kids almost every day and takes either the Big Girls or Sadie to school before he goes to work. He occasionally brings me coffee in bed. Hate on, haters.
2. My Momma gives a Hella good pep talk.
3. My best friend is okay with me showing up at her house in tears and loves (for real) picking my kids up from school in the afternoon.
4. I have amazing writer friends that I can call or text who don’t think I’m crazy. (I think.)
5. Every bedroom in my house needs a Hoarders’ level intervention… but my den looks like this…
Imma go sit in there with hot chocolate, stare at twinkly lights and remember that I don’t have any real problems. At all.
What do you do when you get overwhelmed?