Sadie, my almost four-year-old, has been especially funny lately. I love it when kids realize they can be funny, and their complete and TOTAL randomness. Here are a few of Sadie’s most recent gems.
Sadie: MOMMA COME WIPE ME! I’M ALL DONE!
I walk into the bathroom and do my duty.
Sadie, hunched over the toilet, yells, “HALLELUJAH!”
In the carpool line to pick up Sadie’s big sisters on an early release day, my blood pressure was roughly 180/120 as ERVYBODY was acting like they had never driven cars before. Apparently I was getting loud about how ridiculous everyone was being because from the backseat I heard Sadie mutter under her breath, “Help us, Jesus.”
I smiled for a second and glanced in the rearview mirror thinking how sweet it sort of was that she was kind of sort of saying a prayer for us. That’swhen I saw her staring intently into “Brown Baby’s” eyes and consoling her. Shewas praying for herself AND HER DOLL. I wasn’t even part of the “us.”
Sadie and her middle sister, Emma, have all of a sudden become the best of friends. Sunday morning while I was putting my makeup on for church Sadie was standing beside me chattering away about a game she and Emma had made up.
Me: You and Emma are just best buddies, aren’t you?
Sadie: What day is it?
Me: Huh, what?
Sadie: WHAT. DAY. IS. IT?
Me: Sunday… why?
Sadie: Oh. Den no. We are justbuddies on Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
As she brought me the book I’ve been reading, which is roughly 950 pages, she said sweetly, “Momma, I unbended all your pages for you and made dem nice and flat!”
Last night, fresh out of the tub Sadie said, “I’m soooo cwean and smoove, Momma!”
Me: I know you are! You smell so good!
Sadie poked her bare behind in my general vicinity and yells, “Smell my butt!” then cackles like a wild woman.
While I was cooking dinner one evening, Sadie climbed up on the kitchen counter with an insert from the newspaper. It was a sale paper full of toys. She flipped through it while she snacked on an apple then looked up at me with a completely straight face and said, “Momma, did you know boys have weenuses and gulls don’t. Dat would be weird if gulls had weenuses, huh, Momma?” Cuz dey don’t. Only boys have weenuses.”
I just smiled, nodded and tried not to let her see the fear in my eyes.