Aubrey Said: This is Gonna Blow Your Mind

My oldest has been particularly hilarious lately. Last night while I was cooking dinner, gluten free pizza, Aubrey (7-years-old) said, “How do you fix a broken pizza?”

Me: I don’t know. How?

Aubrey: Tomato paste!

I cracked up and asked where she had heard it but she insisted she made it up on her own.

Later that evening Aubrey and I were sitting outside playing with her kitten, (after much consideration she has renamed Fluffy, Sophie.) So we were sitting outside playing with Sophie and I said, “I liked Fluffy. It sounded like more of a kitten name.”

Aubrey: What do you mean?

Me: I just thought Fluffy was more of a cat name. Don’t you think so?

Aubrey: I guess. Do you think I should change her name to something else?

Me: It’s up to you…

Aubrey: Like… pu$$y?

I. Died. I fell over in the carport and lay on the concrete in the fetal position sobbing with laughter. She has no idea there is another connotation for that word, but we do watch a lot of Looney Tunes. She giggled at my reaction.

Aubrey: Is that funny?!

Me: YES!!! Oh my lord!!!

I gasped for air.

Aubrey: DON’T PUT THAT IN THE NEWSPAPER!

Me: Don’t worry! I couldn’t if I wanted to!

Today I picked Aubrey up from school by herself. My mother is in town and was at the house with the two younger girls so I took the opportunity to spend a little time with my big girl one on one. We skipped her dance class and went to Sonic instead. As we shared an ice cream she talked and talked.

Aubrey: Momma. I’ve got to tell you something and it’s going to totally blow your mind.

Me: What?

Aubrey: <Insert name of girl who has been a jerk to Aubrey repeatedly> looked at me in class today and said, “You’re NOT funny.”

Aubrey cackled with laughter, “Isn’t that the funniest thing you’ve ever heard?”

“Almost,” I said with a grin and dipped my spoon back into our shared treat.

 

 



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Comments

  1. Blair says

    LOLOLOL!!!!!! And I’m so proud of Aubrey for not letting Jerk Face get her down! “She’s building character.” ;)

  2. Heather says

    My kids must be watching the same Looney Tunes, because about two weeks ago we were visiting my parents (who live on a nice quiet street) and my dad was outside with my boys. The local kids had just gotten off the school bus and three of them were walking down the street with their parents. My oldest (8), who was on spring break, was yelling down the street to his little brother (4), “Come on, Pu$$y! Come on!” They were riding bikes. I was shocked, embarrassed and trying not to laugh when my dad told me. Then of course, my youngest was saying it, too. I asked my oldest where he got it and he said, “Tom & Jerry.” I don’t remember that word from Tom & Jerry.

  3. says

    LOVE that you wrote about this. Sam and Will were having the most hilarious debate over whether the little French mouse in Tom and Jerry says, “Touche Pu$$ycat” or not. And finally it came down to just shouting the p word with or without a “y” on the end. Was dying to blog about it, but just couldn’t bring myself to shock the world. Thanks for going there, RaRa. *hugs*
    Jodi recently posted..The Good, The Bad, but mostly the Ugly

  4. says

    LOVE THIS! Also? I called the puppy a crack-nugget today and Buttercup is running around the house yelling CRACK NUGGET at the top of her lungs. I’m trying not to fall down laughing and hoping to GAWD she doesn’t refer to the Crack-Nugget we keep at home while out in public.

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